Women Need Men…to March With Them on International Women’s Day and Every Day!

By Judith van Veldhuizen

24 November was my last day working in the Netherlands — and it happened to be Equal Pay Day.

On that day, Dutch women collectively switch on their out-of-office replies at 13:00 to highlight the gender pay gap because from that moment on, women are symbolically working for free. Why? Because to earn the same salary as men for the same job, women would have to work many more hours. Same work. Less pay.

I like taking part in these peaceful but pointed actions. They make me feel powerful – backed by the many people standing with me.

Four months later, I am based in Prishtina for my partner’s job — very unfeminist of me, you might say. And I’m preparing for International Women’s Day on 8 March, when we march for equal rights for all women and against gender-based violence and discrimination.

Compared to the Netherlands, there seems to be a stronger awareness in Kosovo of how much still needs to change. In the Netherlands, the gap between how men perceive themselves (very progressive) and the reality can be striking.

When I tell male friends about the harassment my girlfriends and I experience in public, they are surprised and horrified. But when I ask whether they have ever seen a friend cross the line, they all know at least one man who has mistreated a woman. When I ask what they have done to stop that behavior, there’s often no answer.

With the memory still fresh about the American president’s sexist joke about the Olympic gold-medal-winning U.S. women’s hockey team, it seems clear to me where the focus should be: men becoming active allies to women and holding each other accountable.

Looking at the tradition of Women’s Day in the Balkans, I cannot help but notice a conflict of interest. Are we celebrating mothers, or are we fighting for women’s rights?

In other parts of the world, Mother’s Day is celebrated separately in May. Does celebrating both events on a single day put the focus on tokens of appreciation, rather than taking real, meaningful action to improve the lives of women?

Women need proper legislation – Kosovo only criminalized domestic violence in 2019. Women need police and institutions that take their complaints seriously.

Women need civil society that refuses to look away. Women need equal opportunities and choices in the workforce.

And women need men: men who march with them on the path to equal rights; men who challenge sexist behavior among their peers; men who work every day to level the playing field.

Equality is not a women’s issue. It is everyone’s responsibility.